Not About NMB

   "NMB is not about NMB." At the beginning of the summer, when our staff leaders said this, I (and I presume many others on my team) rolled my eyes. Yeah, sure, I thought. We're here to impact the world and this city for Jesus... right here and now. Little did we know how much North Myrtle Beach would impact us. In the seven weeks since we returned, I have come to a new appreciation of just how true those words were; North Myrtle Beach was not just about this summer, but it was about our entire lives.

   God grew us all in amazing ways during our trip. I watched Lauren go from someone questioning and trying to hide her authentic self to someone confident in who she is in Jesus and so excited to share Him with others. I saw Jon go from a goofy, fun-loving "little brother" to a mature, responsible man, ready to help guide other men into deeper and more intimate relationships with God (but don't worry, he's still fun and goofy). I witnessed people who had never met before hand over their car keys, saying, "do what you need to do," and give of themselves sacrificially for one another. I had the joy of watching people who, just six months ago, had no clue each other existed, weep and mourn deeply with one another through some of the deepest forms of heartbreak. And I watched as that mourning turned to joy as we experienced triumph and victory together.

   Just as God worked in the lives of my teammates, He grew me and stretched me in powerful ways. In many ways, God took parts of me that I thought had grown as much as they could and grew them even further than I thought possible. He reminded me of what it truly means to love one another as He loved us. He showed me what true servant leadership looks like - selfless sacrifice after sacrifice. He showed me the dark parts of myself - parts that I had avoided for a long time, too scared to look at them - and forced me to face them. He helped me to conquer them and bring them under His power.

   So what next? God brought me back to St. Cloud for my final year at SCSU and my final year as a student leader with Cru on my campus. This summer, God revealed to me the ways I was not loving and caring for myself well: spreading myself thin, refusing to rely on God's strength for ministry, and panicking whenever I failed to live up to my own impossible standard. This summer, I made a commitment to seek Christian counseling as soon as I came back. Through starting counseling, I have been facing my anxiety head-on, recognizing the ways I undermine my own health, and ultimately being reminded of who I am in HIM. And because of this healing, I have been able to care for others in a much deeper way, from 2 a.m. conversations with grieving students to deep conversations with students struggling with deep, difficult theological truths.

   "NMB is not about NMB." Never has this sentence seemed more true. North Myrtle Beach has never been about this summer and that city. It has always been about our whole lives, our futures, and God's plans for us. NMB was about our hearts recklessly pursuing Jesus's love above all else. And I cannot wait to continue to do that with all of the rest of my life!

My Bible study for the first half of the summer (L to R: Me, Alejandrina, Tayler, Josie)

I came to love our times in worship and fellowship together as a team. This is one of the biggest things that I miss!

All the McDonald's coworkers (Clockwise: Matthew, Joey, Will, Jackson, Autumn, Maria, Naomi, Josie, me)

I had the privilege of witnessing these amazing people get baptized in the ocean! (L to R: Bekah, Dani, Morgan, Maria, Kayla, Jacqueline, Naomi, Emily, Milton, Madison, Wyatt, Nolan, Jackson, Mason)

One Saturday, a few of us girls got the chance to head to Southport, NC, the location of the Nicholas Sparks movie, "Safe Haven". (L to R: Kayla, me, Alejandrina, Mariah, Lauren)

Southport was such a cute little town right on the waterway. It was easy to see why they would choose to film the movie there!

This song became my theme this summer, as I learned to surrender even more of myself to the Lord.