The Struggle of Expectations

Psalm 62: 5-8

5  For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

6  He only is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

7  On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

8  Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us. Selah

   As the trip to Nicaragua draws closer, I find myself struggling with expectations: expectations of what will happen during our trip, of how everything will come together exactly as I would have it, and expectations of doing everything on my own power. I want everything to work a certain way. I want things to be a specific way. And, while I do desire God's glory and for God to be at work, a part of me wants that glory for myself and wants His plan to fit neatly into the little box labeled "Anna's Plans".

   I was talking about this with a friend the other day, and she shared something with me that lifted my heart and gave me great encouragement. She read a bit from a letter that her brother sent her, where he discussed expectations and what he has learned about them over the years. He said, in short, that when you have specific expectations, ones which often revolve around receiving glory for oneself, you are liable to be disappointed. However, when you have Godly expectations, that is, you focus on the general expectations that God will be moving and his power will be displayed, you will not be disappointed.

   This nugget of wisdom was incredibly encouraging, reminding me to look always to Christ and His plans and purposes. I have so many expectations of my summer, especially of the trip to Nicaragua, Operation St. Cloud, and of Vacation Bible School. I have my own hopes, plans, and desires, and some of them lead only to my own glory. That is why I love the passage of scripture above, particularly verse 7. It says, "On God rests my salvation and my glory". Did you catch that? My glory rests on GOD, not me. And yes, I'm preaching to myself.

   So, I will be pray for myself and my expectations, that God will reform my hopes, desires, and expectations for this summer and for the rest of my life. I want my expectations to grow to fit His plan, not the other way around. So if you want something to be praying about, pray about that. And thank you so much for your continued prayers and support.

P.S. The trip will be 95 days away (as of Friday, April 15th)... and I'm so excited! Also, I'm at $505 out of the needed $1,600.