My Isaac

Open up, lift your hands higher

I know it's hard

Give me back what I have given

Trust my heart (You can trust my heart)

I have loved him before you have

Follow me

Slowly we will climb together

I'm not leavin' you

   This past fall was particularly difficult for me. I had to let go of so many things. Friends have gotten married, moved away, moved on. I'm hitting the point in my college career where I'm starting to think about my career after college - long-term. In addition to all of that, I have wrestled with God over the issue of surrender. All my life, I've promised God my everything... and this year came the time to take stock of what that "everything" encompasses. Throughout the school year, God has been continually showing me how much better His plan is when I just surrender to it. I am so ready for surrender!

   In the midst of all of this, the song "Isaac" by Hollyn appeared in my life. I remember, after hearing it on the radio one day, writing down a line so I could look it up later. Then, hours later, I sat in the quiet of my bedroom, listening to this song, weeping. I was crying for joy over what God can do just as much as I was mourning the loss of the life that I had always planned for myself - a life where I was comfortable and everything was easy. I had never understood so much before the pain of Abraham as he walked Isaac up the mountain, preparing to sacrifice this boy, his son, his everything, to follow God's plan. As much as I am not a parent, I do know and understand how painful it feels to take your future - your hopes and dreams - and place them at God's feet. It has been such a hard journey of surrender, and some days I have to wake up and remind myself over and over again, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. And what a joy it is to surrender to God's will!